Father goes without food for 2 or 3 days at a time

Rabies treatment for daughter scheduled to continue; asthmatic boy, 18 months old, lacks oxygen

Chat session with Jason using Yahoo Messenger from an Internet cafe, 17:01 to 18:29, Philippine time

To my surprise, Jason greeted me online this afternoon, thanking me for the money he had received at 9:30 a.m.

We discussed mainly

• Jason's health;
• the health of his daughter Lin-Lin;
• confusion about Jason's nephew, Kian, and Tina's nephew, also named Kian,
• the latter's health crisis, the paternal obligations of Kian's father, and his income;
• the prices of cell phone calls and text messages;
• Internet cafe computer usage; and
• Jason's wish to see me via web cam.

After exchanging pleasantries I mentioned Jason's online picture gallery (dating from 2008 when he was employed in an Internet cafe) and various matters including Lin-Lin's medical appointment next day.

I trusted they would have no problems keeping the appointment and Jason hoped that would be so. "Please try to learn all you can from the doctor tomorrow," I said. "Don't be too shy to ask questions! And ask about your own health, too, if you have a chance! Explain that you've been under great stress!"

Jason's health

Towards the end of the interchange, discussion of Jason's health produced cryptic but distressing revelations. Despite concern for his privacy, I relate them here:

Jason: Bern, tomorrow I think I need to [have a] check-up too b-coz I'm anemic and can't eat many.

Bern: Yes, I'm not at all surprised. I hope you do get checked.

Jason: I have ulcer Bern.

Bern: Ulcer? Where? You need to get that treated! I hope the same doctor can treat you and Lin-Lin in the same consultation.

Jason: I can't say in English Bern: in my sikmura, in Tagalog.

Bern: Well just make sure you tell the doctor.
. . .

Jason: I get that [ulcer] Bern when I'm no eat, no food.

Bern: Oh. That's understandable.

Jason: No eat in 2 to 3 days.

Bern: But when was the last time that happened? And how often has it been happening?

Jason: No food in 2 to 3 days.

Bern: You really need to tell the doctor that. Have you been eating recently?

Jason: I think Bern it's time to [make it] know[n to] the doctor: and need to check-up.

Bern: Yes, certainly, you must tell him everything!

Jason: I keep that a month ago; I think [it lasted] 4 to 6 month[s]. I can't tell anyone Bern, only [to] you can [I] say that.

. . .

Jason: Bern sorry for sharing this to you; don't think about me.

Bern: There's no need to apologise! I appreciate that have shared it: but please share it with the doctor too.

Jason: Thank you Bern.

Lin-Lin's health

Bern: How is Lin-Lin now?

Jason: She's improved; she can play now, and eat more; tomorrow she['s] requesting me again to eat Jollibee, and buy sleeper [slippers; i.e. casual footwear].

Bern: I'm glad to hear she's improved. I hope you can afford Jollibee and slippers. I see Jollibee and McDonalds are offering half-size servings of rice now, because of the shortage.

Jason: I think I budget the money for that and for the food.

Bern: I trust you to budget wisely. I'm almost certain that more ant-rabies injections will be required, perhaps a month from now. . . . I need to check that.

Jason: Thank you for that, Bern, please. . . She need more 3 anti-rabies, not anti-tetanus.

Bern: I see. That's what I would have anticipated. I suppose at least the anti-rabies prophylaxis is a good insurance for the future, even though it's unpleasant for Lin-Lin.

Jason: Yes, Bern, I clarify that tomorrow.

Bern: Good.

Confusion about Jason's nephew, Kian, Tina's nephew, also named Kian; and the latter's health crisis

Jason: May I ask, Bern, about Tina's saying Kian [was] in hospital yesterday?

Bern: There was confusion! She was referring to Liza's son, 18 months old, suffering from asthma and fever. Tina said he was suffering severely from lack of oxygen.

Jason: Oh, but she said Kian [Jason's sister Anagel also has a son named Kian].

Bern: That's his name, isn't it?

Jason: I don't know his name Bern.

Bern: Tina was worried that without a nebulizer and medication he might not survive the night. He was having severe breathing difficulties.

Jason: But Bern, Liza's husband work in Kalayaan also: in NPC [the National Power Corporation].

Bern: I wish I knew more about that. From what I hear, the workers are all very poorly paid.

Jason: I don't know . . . but in my opinion his father [has an] obligation.

Bern: I think many Filipino fathers are unable to meet their obligations.

Tina and Liza signed Kian out of the hospital. They had to sign a waiver, saying they would take responsibility if something went really wrong with Kian.

Tina said the one nebulizer in the hospital was being shared by several patients so they would have to wait for that one. The doctor wrote a prescription for them to buy one, plus medications.

But they had no money to buy those things, so Kian had difficulty breathing.

I trust Kian's health has improved today. It was a bit better last night [after I sent money for medications] but I need to check again.

Cell phone talk and text prices

Jason said he would text me tomorrow. I thanked him, saying I was sure to be online some time the next day: a text via Yahoo would be cheaper.

Yes, said Jason, only 2 pesos and 50 centavos. The price of a text to my cellphone, however, would be "30 pesos [for] one text only. "

I was shocked. "I was thinking about 12 or 15 pesos! Maybe the price has risen. That's close to one Australian dollar!"

The cost would be 15 pesos, Jason replied, "if your message is short."

"The telco Optus has greatly increased the price of phone calls," I said, "so I've cut down greatly on my cellphone calls to the Philippines."

Jason thought that cellular phone calls within the Philippines cost 60 pesos for 5 minutes.

I thought "That explains why Filipinos use many text messages instead."

We agreed that it would be much better to text each other via Yahoo.

Internet prices

Bern: I read online that Internet cafe prices have become quite cheap, at least in some places, because of the competition.

Jason: Yes, Bern, also here in Pagsanjan.

Bern: Cheap Internet prices are good for customers, like you, but not so good for the workers in the cafes!

Jason: Yes.

Bern: Maybe if you start working in an Internet cafe again, you'd like to see the prices higher! So you can get better wages!

Web cam

Jason: Bern you have cam in your computer? I want to see you; I miss you very much; long time ago can't see.

Bern: Oh, I have one [web cam], but it's not attached! And now I've found the software CD for it! So I should be able to have it running next time you come online! I won't try to install it immediately, but I will do so very soon.

Jason: Yes Bern please . . . I'm very happy for that.

Bern: I'm not much to look at.

Jason: It's OK Bern; the important [thing is that] I saw you.

Bern: OK, so I'll get the camera installed and figure out how to operate it.

Jason: Put the disc [in] Bern and then choose the same [model]; what cam you have; and then install it.

Bern: Yes, but I prefer not to do it immediately. My old computer is likely to become overloaded.

Jason: Yes, I think next time Bern. I have no time.

Farewell

"Bern, thank you again, in time,' Jason said; "God bless you Bern; love, Jason and family. Bye for now Bern; miss you."

"Good night Jason," I replied, "and best wishes to you and all your family!"

The life you can save

Peter Singer: The Life You Can Save - Late Night Live - 4 February 2009

“Imagine you are on your way to work when you pass a pond where you see a young child drowning. There is no one else around but you are wearing new shoes which will be ruined if you wade in to save him, and the rescue will make you late for work. What should you do?

We don't hesitate to answer 'save the child!', but Peter Singer argues that when it comes to the plight of millions in the developing world we are all letting the child die. His new book is a call to action for individual responsibility in ending world poverty.”

 

Poor woman cannot afford medical care for sick husband or schooling for daughter

Janice (18:35:29): Hellow Bern, how are you?

Bern (18:37:28): Hello, I'm just OK. I've been going backwards and forwards to the TV news.

Janice (18:38:20): It's OK! Bern.

Bern (18:39:47): This morning Jason sent a message saying he was feeling sick. I hope he's improved.

Janice (18:41:23): Yes! Bern, he's sleeping and I hope he's improved as soon as possible.

Bern (18:41:53): So do I. It's a real pity he can't afford to consult a doctor.

Janice (18:42:46): Not yet Bern! B-coz I don't have money.

Bern (18:43:01): Just as I thought.

Janice (18:49:17): He take tablet Bern, biogesic only.

Bern (18:51:08): I see. Do you know the ingredients? I think it probably contains only paracetamol for pain relief.

Janice (18:51:55): He feel cold.

Bern (18:52:12): Perhaps he has a fever.

Janice (18:52:28): Yes! Bern.

Bern (18:52:39): I wish there was more that could be done. Does the employer know about Jason's illness? What does he say?

Janice (18:55:18): He said rest - and get well soon!

Bern (18:55:43): Who is performing Jason's duties while he is unable to work?

Janice (18:56:20): His assistant!

Janice (18:57:01): I'm surfeit Bern! I can't help Mae Mae, to her study, I can't give money allowance.

Bern (19:01:36): Don't your relations in San Isidro try to do that?

Janice (19:04:23): Do to support my relative but Bern, I'm shy b-coz he can do every day - money allowance to Mae Mae! I'm worried also Bern!

Bern (19:05:17): I understand.

Janice (19:07:00): I don't know what can I do now Bern!

Bern (19:07:45): I'm so sorry, it's getting quite hard for me also.

Bern (19:09:17): I'm sorry I'm distracted right now by someone else sending Yahoo messages and the TV going. Also Alice is calling me to eat.

Janice (19:10:42): OK! Bern, thank you for chatting . . . (-_-) . . . you're my good friend. Sorry for sharing this!

Bern (19:15:09): There's no need to apologise. But I really must go now. I'll probably be online again later tonight.

Janice (19:15:34): OK Bern! I'm waiting.

Mel distressed after waiting for information and assistance

Mel (18:42:41): Bern what the new's about your help, I'm very sorry for question[ing] you about that! Love.

Bern (18:45:25): On Friday I succeeded in sending money via PesoEpadala.com to Tina to be picked up through Tambunting Pawnshop in Paete. It's a Globe G-Cash outlet.

Bern (18:46:58): I also succeeded in sending Tina 900 pesos worth of Smart load. Tina says there is great demand for her to sell on credit to security guards' families.

Bern (18:47:33): I was very much hoping Tina and Jovs would be able to help you but until now this has not happened.

Mel (18:47:49): Ah! I see but Bern there's a problem of my account you cannot send money to my SIM card like Tina bcoz we're different SIM card and its available only for Smart load.

Bern (18:49:03): I succeeded in sending 900 pesos worth of Smart load to Tina. I tried to send 900 pesos worth of Globe load to her also but she hasn't received it.

Bern (18:50:26): Mel I will send load to your Smart phone if I can be sure that you will receive it. The PesoEpadala office in Sydney is not open until tomorrow, however.

Mel (18:52:09): But how can I use that, I'm not handed my phone, I pawned it.

Bern (18:54:12): Yes, Mel, I understand that, so the situation is more difficult. If I succeeded in buying load, perhaps Jomar or Jester could get the benefit.

Mel (18:56:33): No, Bern, stop trying if it's hard or difficult for you. I will stop hoping that you can help me Bern. You always take care: this is my last text for now. I love you!

Bern (19:00:10): Thank you for your love, Mel. But please don't ask me to stop trying. I'm so sorry it's your last text for now. I will find some way to contact you again soon. Love.

Mel (19:01:35): No, don't worry about me, I will be OK! Goodbye!

Mel feels neglected and greatly distressed

Mel (16:30:22): Bern good afternoon, hope you and Alice are OK, hope you can help me so I can start business and my therapy. LOVE Mel.

Bern (16:32:04): Hi Mel. I just sent Tina money and asked her to help you also. Her electricity was disconnected, the kids have no food and she has no rice to eat or sell.

Bern (16:34:16): Alice is OK. She's resting now. I'm very worried about you and Jayson's family and the families in Kalayaan.

Mel (16:38:07) [online]: Hello Bern!

Mel (16:38:41): I just came outside [the village store with Internet access] waiting for your text.

Bern (16:39:01): Hello Mel!

Mel (16:39:08): I'm glad you are online.

Bern (16:39:36): I am too, but I'm feeling tired and sleepy! Too many late nights!

Mel (16:39:59): Why?

Bern (16:40:23): I've gotten into a bad habit, the same as you, of not going to bed until after midnight.

Mel (16:41:08): I influence you!

Bern (16:41:42): Ha ha. If I can blame you for my bad habit, that's better than having to take the blame myself.

Mel (16:42:44): Ha ha ha! Bern hope would you mind if I asked you how much you sent Tina?

Mel (16:43:26): I'm worried how much she will gave me!

Bern (16:43:50): I sent her 10,000 pesos. She said she'll give you 2,500. I guess she'll have to pay for months of electricity to get it reconnected.

Bern (16:45:09): I don't know how much that will cost. She also said the kids have no food and Ken can't go to school. Also many security guards want to buy food on credit but she can't help them. She hasn't got the stock.

Mel (16:46:50): I don't know what to say, bcoz if I say something you might be angry w/ me. So I will not tell.

Bern (16:47:11): It's probably better if you do tell me.

Mel (16:47:32): OK!

Mel (16:50:12): Last time we text, you said that if you help me I must try to have the sell loads again, but now its impossible bcoz Bern you always helped Tina a lot [more] than me: honestly Bern that's not OK with me! I'm very very jealous. Sorry to say that Bern.

Bern (16:52:31): Mel, I'm only one human being finding it very hard to help many people. It's not just helping Tina. There are 5 small children in the Kalayaan house. Tina said they have no food today. She also said there are hungry families depending on her shop but she can't help them.

Bern (16:53:00): I want to help you Mel, truly, but life is getting very hard.

Mel (16:56:18): Well maybe it's better to not helped me now, I'm crying now, I will tell to Tina that she can use my 2500, I'm OK here! Would you mind, Bern, I will go off line and I will go home. Bye bye.

Bern (16:56:53): Mel please do not say that to Tina.

"Mel has signed out. (5/10/2007 16:57)"

Angry husband allegedly denies food to children of indigent in-laws

Text received online at 09:32 GMT+10

Tina (09:02:11): Gud evening Bern, you know Bern since Sept. 14 nite I don't have slept coz of our family problem, I cannot give help for d kids in d front of Jovs coz he was angry, I can't give food from d salary of Jovs. He was angry? What I can do, I need to survive my store, think d best things to become successful, to help d kids. I hope you understand what I want to say? I really need to [have] additional capital for rice and other household need, for d sake of my customers and family.

Young man Mel suffers pain, weakness and anxiety

Text received online at 09:32

Mel (03:11:52): Hello Bern, good evening! I don't know if I will go to the specialist - the pain is still [present,] I feel [it] though I continue take the med[ications] and also I feel weak. I'm worried.

Ministore owner desperately seeks capital, citing great need

September 17

Tina (17:26:21): Bern, I and Mel decide to go home, we will return [to the Laguna Provincial Hospital] on Wed[nesday]. Some Indian (Bombay) 5/6* ask me if I want some capital from them, coz day know dat there [is] lots of demand but I don't have capital, but I think it's not good for my business. But almost of d guard force me to have extra capital to support der family needs.

September 18

Tina (10:03:21): Bern gud a.m., Jovs slept last nite with us, now little Bern and [I] was going to Magdapio but [we] will return after lunch, I don't have per kl. of rice right now, da 20 guard family rely on me including my family.

Tina (18/09/2007 10:12:33): You know Bern, tell you d truth, I don't want to borrow money to 5/6*, coz I really need to buy 5 sacks of rice, 1,200 each, to support d needs of d guards till payday 25th, it total cost 6,000, if ever I borrow I'm return it will be 7,200, my profit will be goes to them, if I have only a chance to have capital to support them and my family, I really need help.

* * *

* 5/6: A loan shark, so-called because one who borrows 500 pesos, for example, must repay 600 within a month. "Bombays" are moneylenders of Indian extraction, generally held in low repute by Filipinos.

Drunken man Jovs on violent rampage, wife says

Texts received online at 18:12 GMT+10

Tina (04:56:47): Gud a.m., how are you! If you ask me, we're now in big family problem, I cry in whole nite. I know it's not good to mention it to you, coz it [is] personal but you're part of my life, we have fight here, big scandal, Jov was drunk in Magdapio dat why I and little Bern follow him, to bring him at home, from Pagsanjan we're ride in motor [cycle] single [i.e. without a sidecar].

I thought it's our last moment, coz everyone see us, asking him to fight him, till we got home, when we got home everyone at home asking to fight him, even Lito and Roderic, even in police near da house he did not listen, dat why I call to Nanay Josie [his mother] to be here, but husband of Anagel came to bring him at home in Magdapio coz no one can stop him.

Tina (05:08:04): Jovs [is] now in da house in Magdapio with some bruises coz he hit himself, he handle a piece of iron and hit in different part of d house. We're so scare[d], also little Bern. I'm now suffer so much pain in my operation, I felt it [the incision] will be open again. Bern, please, give me your advice, I really need to continue dis relationship, he hit me in head, even I carry little Bern. He touch my head and push it [against] da wall.

Desperate aunt borrows money to pay for newborn screening of nephew

Tina (00:53 GMT+8): Gud a.m. Bern and Alice, we're been in Provincial dis p.m. [to] have a check up on d baby of Liza 1 week after birth, doktora required us to have new born screening, after know d history, to make sure der is no mental disorder, last chance to be done tomorrow, worth 1,500 in private hospital, I don't have money, to tell you d truth it's so hard for me support to mother while in breast feeding always hungry and want to eat, we [have a] lack of food to eat, but [I] feel OK while baby smiling at me. Liza can breast feed Laurice['s] baby when no milk. [Text received online via Yahoo Messenger at 09:18 GMT+10.]

Bern (09:22:41): Hello Mel, please advise me about the Western Union situation. [Yahoo: "Mel & Jester will receive your messages on a mobile device."]

Bern (09:25:37): Hello Tina. Sorry, I don't know what a newborn screening is and I don't know why today is the last chance to have one.

Bern (09:26:43): Yesterday I sent Mel 4,000 but Western Union refused to pay him and said the transaction has been waiting in a "security queue" until this morning.

Tina (09:33:51): Newborn screening was a test for a baby which only done in 1 week old, it will be then only in dat grace period of time, it will know if d baby have mental disorder or have a problem in early age, in dis case it will be cure in right away.

Bern (09:35:22): Thanks for that information. It's still unclear what mental condition the doktora wants to screen for though. Please try to borrow 1,500 from Mel. [Yahoo: "Tina will receive your messages on a mobile device."]

Tina (09:37:09): Der [is] no available newborn screening in Provincial [hospital] only in private in Laguna Doctors hospital.

Bern (09:37:25): Tina, despite repeated enquiries and complaints, Western Union has kept Mel waiting all night for the 4,000. Please contact him and ask his help.

Bern (09:40:35): Tina, if I understand correctly, a Provincial doktora has referred the infant to the private hospital for a screening test. Sorry, I forget the baby's name.

Western Union (09:45:29): Status [of remittance] : Available for pick up by receiver. [Online confirmation.]

Tina (09:50:15): Yes you're right, doktora gave referral, d name of baby was KIAN . . .

Bern (09:51:33): Oh, yes. Mel mentioned that Kian was the name of a singer in a group of four. I forget their name. I've just been looking up genetic screening.

Bern (09:53:29): Mel has not replied to my text this morning. Probably his load is low. Please try to get in touch with him ASAP. His WU transfer is available for pick-up.

Tina (09:58:55): OK I will try to contact him.

Tina (10:28:19): Bern we call Mel, Jovs explain d situation, Mel agree to give 1,500, we just met in Sta. Cruz near in hospital, but he said we need to return it soon.

Bern (10:29:41): Thanks to you and Mel for that. Mel told me he helped Anagel and family because they had measles so he ran out of load. I want him to keep selling loads.

Bern (10:31:45): I sent Mel 4,000 at 4:45 p.m. yesterday but Western Union refused to pay, saying the transaction was in a "security queue." I'll ring and ask the situation.

Bern (10:32:38): Evidently Mel's money is "available for pickup" now but if I had enough money and tried to send you some now, the same delay might happen again.

Tina (10:50:06): Bern maybe today was not de same as WU yesterday, Mel was now going to Sta. Cruz.

Bern (10:51:26): This morning I spent 45 minutes at the WU sending agent's shop waiting for a response from WU. They claim the money is available now.

Mel (10:57:06): Good morning Bern. Tina phone me 8 a.m. dis morning and she forward d text from you to me. I'm going now to Sta. Cruz to try to received the money. Love.

Stopping by woods on a snowy evening

What about the poem? People argue about what it means. Some critics say there is a deathwish in it, in reference to the fact that he has left the main road, is trespassing and heading toward the frozen lake.

Few readers seem to know that Frost himself commented about the poem. It had a very private and personal meaning. Frost had gone to town to buy toys for his children. But what he found was too expensive and other shops were closed. He was out of work and very poor. It was Christmas Eve and his children were eagerly hoping for presents from Santa. He is coming back with an empty wagon. The night has gotten late and he takes a shortcut. It is the darkest evening of the year, not only because of the calendar, but because of his great sadness. He stops for a moment with his horse as his one companion, although the poor animal cannot understand what is wrong. The man’s promises to keep are with his family. No matter how bad he feels, he cannot die and he cannot run away. They are depending upon him.

Father Joe: Miles to Go Before I Sleep. Excerpt. Father Joe is a Catholic priest in the Archdiocese of Washington, DC.

The twisting lane

Those who pursue me taking a twisting lane
To find themselves immediately alone
With savage water or unfeeling stone,
In labrynths where they must entertain
Confusion, cripples, tigers, thunder, pain.

W.H. Auden: For the Time Being.

Source: Tony Parker, The Twisting Lane: some sex offenders. London: Panther Modern Society edn, 1970 (epigraph).